Official Statement from the Revolution
By Atlantic League Independent Wire Services on June 5, 2009
York, PA – At the beginning of the 2009 season, York Revolution Nation was engaged in a battle like no other. Not against Atlantic League foes, and not even against the archrival Lancaster Barnstormers, but against a force that threatened our livelihood and our right to congregate outdoors. Our dignitaries decided that it would be in the best interest of all members of Revolution Nation to negotiate with this cowardice beast.
“In May, we extended the olive branch of peace,” said Head Groundskeeper Brandon Putman. “It was our intent to discuss our differences and come to a conclusion that benefited all parties.”
The Revolution went so far as to schedule a doubleheader nearly every week in an effort to compromise with this force of nature.
“Unfortunately, that tactic has failed,” said Putman. “As of this date, Friday, June 5, 2009 at 12 p.m., the Revolution refuses to negotiate with The Rain.”
The Revolution have scheduled six doubleheaders, and five games have been moved, already a record for a single-season. Out of a total of 18 scheduled home dates, it has rained on 13 of those.
Part of the Revolution’s plan to disarm the enemy includes condemnation of those who harbor rain-like sentiments. The likes of Reignman will not be granted entry to Sovereign Bank Stadium. The club is also in talks with the ally Newark Bears to officially change the name of manager Tim Raines in advance of their arrival on June 15.
The Rain has refused public comment.
Through all of these struggles, it appears as though the Revolution are very near to raising the “mission accomplished” banner. The forecast calls for sunshine this weekend with a doubleheader on Saturday, and another game set for Sunday at 5 p.m.
Fans, bring your warm gear and an emergency umbrella to tonight’s game. We will not back down. Game on!
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